Do you ever feel like God made a mistake when he made you? Like maybe he created you at five o’clock on Friday?
Sometimes I struggle to find significance and to get a grip emotionally. I have lived in a home with all males since I got married and had first one, then another, and yet a third son. Don’t get me wrong, I love our boys. They have been a source of joy even when they’ve kept me on my knees. When they were young ,on my knees playing, and in their teens, on my knees praying…praying…and then praying some more. Ah, but that’s a story for another day.
Today, I’m thinking about being an emotional female in a Y chromosome world.
The other day I said to one of my sons, “All of a sudden I feel like crying.”
Lifting his eyes from his laptop, he looked as helpless as an ant trying to lift an elephant. He didn’t have to say a word. I knew what he was thinking.
“Mom is being more weird than normal and I have no idea what to say.”
When he didn’t say anything right away, I asked, “Do you ever feel like crying for no reason?”
He looked like he’d rather be someplace, any place else. I’m guessing he was silently counting the number of steps to get past me as soon as possible. Raising his eyebrow, he finally said, “Well, ah, no.”
“You sure are lucky,” I said as I turned to leave the room.
Seriously, wouldn’t it be nice to never feel sad without knowing where the sadness is coming from? And, wouldn’t it be easier if we women were just a little less emotional? Like, maybe it would be good if I didn’t tear up every time a Publix Thanksgiving ad plays.
On the other hand, I like feeling deeply. I think that is something we have in common with Jesus.
Have you ever thought about the emotions Jesus shows in Scripture?
He wept at Lazarus’ graveside. He was angry when the temple was converted to a strip mall. He prayed passionately. He restored tenderly. And, He loved deeply, so deeply that He breathed His last breath for us. For you. For me.
The next time you feel like crying for no reason, or for good reason, think of Jesus and give yourself a break. After all, you may be reacting more like Him than you’ve ever thought.
Thank you, Lord, for creating us with the capacity to laugh out loud, to cry when we need to, and to love deeply.
When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.